Katy Perry's Firework Song

I definitely like that Firework song by Katy Perry.  If you really listen to the words like I have, it pretty much sums up what I feel like now.  I never felt like much growing up especially the tween years until the past year and a half or so.  I know, I tend to dwell on that a lot but it's such a big part of my life.  I'm trying to get past it but when you're almost 42 years old....yikes...you just don't get "rid" of your old feelings/attitudes that easily.  I'm enjoying the new me.  I feel very fortunate that I have been able to accomplish what I have so far.  It has taken a lot of hard work, determination, stubbornness to get me here.  It has been an emotional roller coaster ride.  It has changed a lot of things in my life.  There is always that fear that I will gain back all the weight and then some.  It lives inside of me everyday but I try to calm that fear as much as possible.  If I didn't, I would go completely batty!!  LOL!!

I wish that I could go back in time just for a little bit.  I would've had a little talk with "younger Monica" and kept her from many, many years of feeling bad about herself.  I would've did my best "Stuart Smalley" impression and told me this:  

I'm Good Enough, I'm Smart Enough, and Doggone It, People Like Me! 

It's funny...as you get older you see some of the stupid struggles you had to go through to get where you are today.  Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful for every experience I have been through in my life.  It has made me the woman I am today.  I'm different now,I  guess.  I have changed, but I feel I have changed for the better.  I'm still the wild crazy Monica that I always have been.  She just was "hidden" for so long underneath all that weight!!


I'm doing this blog to help me deal with all the changes.  It's therapeutic for me!  I have to be able to have an outlet for some of these thoughts that go racing through my head on a daily basis!!  I debated whether or not to put this "out there" because I figured I would get made fun of or have people rip apart my punctuation and grammar and etc.  I suck at that crap!!  I guess that is where I have the control.  If I don't like something that someone says then I can delete the comment or block the person...you name it!!  If only I would've been able to do that in middle school and high school.  It sure would've made life a lot easier!!  LOL!!

Until next time....