Thursday, April 10, 2014

Living your life in chains!

It's been far too long since I wrote on my blog and I figured it was time.  I get inspired by something I'm feeling or something I'm dealing with or a simple quote will jump out at me and inspire me that way.  Today, it was a little of all three!  LOL!

As much as I hate to admit it, I like to blame some of my issues, okay...maybe all of my issues...on other people.  My weight problem was my parents.  If I wouldn't have feared being in trouble or to lose out on a reward (you better clean up your plate, Monica or your don't get your 8:00 snack) then I might not have had to lose so much weight or had a weight problem to begin with.  My self esteem problem was being called a dog by the boys in elementary school.  My self worth problem was not being treated the best by people in my life.  And my self confidence problem was not hearing any praise.

Well, the more I read what I'm writing, I am realizing that I need to accept blame.  And the sooner I accept that, the sooner my chains can come off.  I locked myself in these chains to protect my feelings, to deal with life the only way I knew how to.  I listen to my inner voice a lot but I think I'm getting that inner voice mixed up with negative thoughts.  And that is keeping me locked in a vicious cycle and not letting me be the best me that I can be.

There is small circle of people who keep me in check and have helped me on the path of unlocking those chains.  They can be brutally honest with me and I respect that. They tell me what I need to hear, not what I want to hear.  They have no clue how much that means to me and how they are helping me.  I don't expect them to fix me.  That is something only I can do.  But they are like teachers to me.  They have had life experiences that they have shared with me, to show me what they have been through and have grown from.

As much as anyone hates to admit it, they aren't growing if they aren't open to a little bit of constructive criticism from others.  To live your life thinking that you aren't to blame for anything, that's absurd.  The best thing you can do for yourself is to be open, to let the walls come down, to forgive yourself, to forgive others, to leave the past in the past (something that this girl fights daily but will win).

When it comes down to it, YOU HAVE THE KEY TO THE CHAINS THAT BIND YOU!  Use the tools that you are given in life to learn, to grow, to accept and then let yourself be the best you can be.  I'm a work in progress and I'm not going to blame people and even better yet...I'M NOT GOING TO BLAME MYSELF FOR BEING HUMAN!  :D