Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Don't let the world take away the "YOU" that you are supposed to be!

There are days where I really don't understand people.  I know I really shouldn't give a rat's ass about anything that doesn't concern me but I was brought up different.  There is just something in me that does give a shit!  I really think it's my naivety.  As my Dad would say, I'm still wet behind the ears!  Does that ever go away or is that just something parents say to their children?  I would think by the time that I hit 70 yrs old that I might not be so naive.  LOL!

I'm quite the different person.  I believe in seeing the good in people till they give me a reason not to.  And even when I'm royally pissed off, I still can't hate.  And maybe it's the analytic thinking that goes on in my head but I like to question why people do the things they do.  Take for instance when someone commits suicide.  Maybe it's the compassionate side of me but I see in them a hurt so deep that they couldn't get away from the pain.  I don't condone it...just see that the person is truly sick and shouldn't be judge.

I'm truly blessed by a few people in my life that have shared with me their life experiences.  They don't realize that they are my teachers and I'm the student.  And I have even found myself in the teacher role.  In a strange sort of way of thinking, I prefer to be the student rather the teacher.  All I know, is that I listen to what they have been through and take from them that wisdom and a lot of times what they show me is not what to do.

In this world, people are out to get each other and/or screw each other over, disrespect each other and/or their feelings , belittle one another or stab each other in the back so it's refreshing to see that there are a few people like myself that want to believe that the world won't steal their sweetness.  I guess that is where my naivety comes into play.  I would prefer to keep those rose colored glasses on so I don't get any more hurt than I have already been in my 45 years of life.

I'm guilty of letting the world get to me and it was stealing my sweetness because of being hurt.  It was making me be a different person then what I was brought up to be.  When I lost most of my weight, people used to say that I had changed.  I used to fight them cause I didn't want to think that I had changed but I did.  I had bottled up a lot of hurt and the shedding of lbs brought out a new "me" but it also brought back an old "me" that was just hidden.

I may be naive and soft but I will not let the world make me hard.  I will not let pain make me hate and be a bitter person.  It's just something that is not me!  I guess this is all part of my weight loss journey...to learn new things, to get experiences from others and to become a better me not a bitter me!