Monday, February 5, 2018

Getting to know yourself!

It's funny how soul cleansing a walk or run is. I used to run a shit ton and the balance and clarity that I got from it was beyond therapeutic. The walking that I have been doing since the middle of summer is darn near the same feeling.  I ran alone a lot.  There were times, few and far between, where I would run with a friend or two but it was never that same feeling.  You can't get that feeling when you are too busy yapping your jaw! LOL!  The same thing goes for walking.  But the bad thing about that is that the silence can be deafening.  And you better be good with that!

I find myself doing far more thinking than a normal person might like.  It's like soul searching...getting to know who you who are and what makes you tick.  And it's a big eye opener at times.  For me, I've found out that just like running, the walking is still stoking my determination.  It's still lighting a fire underneath my butt. 

If something is bothering me on any given day then most of the time it gets hashed out during my walks.  This morning I took advantage of the snow day for school and did a 5 1/2+ mile walk.  It was cold as shit out yet, I didn't notice.  I was extremely lucky not to have to see many people so that was a bonus.  I know that sounds bad of me but it's the honest to God truth.  I love that time where I go off the radar/grid.  There is no music playing in my ears.  It's just me and my thoughts and PLENTY of peace and quiet.  I got that balance, the peace, the clarity that not too many people get or let themselves get.

I think many people are so busy with trying to muffle out the world that they aren't really muffling out the world with all the distractions.  Shutting out the world to me is no phone, no music, no one talking to you....just SILENCE!  And in that silence you tend to find out who you really are and what makes you tick.  I have plenty of people who think they know me but I am the only one who knows me truly inside and out.  I show want I want to show but there is so much more than beats the eye with me.

I feel so many things deeper than most people.  I get my feelings hurt at the drop of a hat.  I get tense when people are discussing stuff (or arguing).  I get sad when I think about how fast time is going now as I'm getting older.  There is so many other facets to me that people don't see or they don't know about 'cause I'm very selective now what I choose to share.

I wish more people would get in touch with themselves and not be so scared to actually be alone with their thoughts and feelings.  I used to hate it but those moments when I'm by myself out walking...those moments are priceless to me now!