Thursday, July 4, 2013

Analyzing yourself for the good!

I'm not saying that everyone needs to analyze yourself but in order to become a better person, you need to not be afraid to admit that you have issues.  I don't care who you are, we all have insecurities, downfalls, not so pretty thoughts.  The problem with having "issues" is that it keeps you from being happy.  It keeps you from loving yourself.  It keeps you from being the best "you" that you can be.  And a question a person needs to ask themselves is "Why wouldn't you want these things"?

Sometimes, pain and suffering is all a person knows and there is something "familar" in that and so a person chooses that.  Kind of sick but it's true or at least it has been with me.  LOL!  And the older I have gotten and the more I have been analyzing myself, I'm seeing that it was not healthy one bit.  Yes, it didn't take a rocket scientist to realize that but it takes a really strong person to admit to one's faults, to delve into one's mind.

I did something about a month or more ago.  I wrote down a list of negative things that I felt about myself.  Only one person saw this list and will be the only person EVER to know what was on that list.  The list was buried.  It was very cleansing to my soul.  It helped me to see what kind of negativity I had going on in my head.  I'm going to be working on another list and this one won't be buried.  This list will be one that I will post somewhere for me to see daily.  It is a list of positive things that I see in myself.

The feeling that I have had since I did this has been relief like a burden lifted off my chest.  I'm not saying that I won't "revisit" things occasionally but I'm even more keenly aware of how to treat myself right.  I try to catch myself when I say something that is not kind to me.  I'm big on people not bullying each other but didn't see that I was actually bullying myself for many years.

I took a picture of myself after a run the other day.  I looked so tired and yet, for the first time EVER, I thought to myself, "Damn, what a beautiful picture of you"!  LOL!  It showed the real me.  No makeup, hair not done, just a simple smile and eyes that showed peace and happiness.  And for once, I was proud that I could tell myself something like that and truly believe it.

These are just some of the things that I am experiencing on my journey.  And I'm happy that I am open to all these changes that I have been through since I started losing weight and finding myself.  I'm not just losing weight off my body, I'm losing weight off my shoulders/heart/mind.  It really is "freeing"!  So, very thankful...