Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Your mind and how it works some times...

It's funny how your mind works. It can get the best of you, if you let it. I have allowed it to happen more times than I can count. I'm rather sick of it. I don't want the negativity. It sucks the life out of me. I am seeing that on this little journey of mine. I had a dear friend of mine tell me that I've made myself happy on the outside and now it's time for Monica to be happy on the inside too! I have carried a lot of negativity around for a mighty long time. And I'm slowly getting rid of it, one issue at a time.

I've also let this "getting to goal" thing consume me. I have had blinders on and have kept my eyes planted firmly on that. I should be enjoying this journey and welcoming all the opportunities that are on the way to that goal and not just be flying by them at warp speed! Yes, I still want to get to goal weight but I've come to the conclusion that it will happen when it is supposed to happen. I can either drive myself batty trying to get there or just savor all the moments that life is offering me during this time. I had a little help in figuring this out too! Thank you! ;-)

It's really amazing that this weight loss journey has made me see other things that are "weighing me down". My thing now is trying to change some of those "attitudes" that I have had about myself for decades. I've worked through one of them so far (not going to go back to it now, not talking about it again...read earlier posts). It has felt really good to finally move past it. I know that I have because there is a "peace" about it. That is why I got my butterfly tattoo as an ending to those feelings I had. Now, to work on other things that I can change.

I think the Serenity Prayer says it perfectly for me:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right
if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life
and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next.
--Reinhold Niebuhr

I believe we are given "tools" to better ourselves. Some times this girl just needs a little more "shove" to see those opportunities. At least this time, I'm not speeding past it with those darn "blinders" that I've been wearing. Just thankful for the couple of "police officers" that stopped me on the way...Ha! Ha! And so the journey continues...