It's weigh-in week. I have been having a tough couple of weeks and I just want to get Thursday over with and start fresh! I know it's going to be bad. I am not being negative...I'm being REALISTIC! I have been having a tough time lately. Well, it is time for Monica to roll up the sleeves and get back to the task at hand! I haven't been running as far lately and I feel it. It's truly my sanity saver and I feel it in my head and in my soul. It "evens" me out and most runners or people who work out know what I mean.
I used to over-react to a lot of things. Don't know if it's because of all the changes that I have been through that have changed that or getting older. I still over-think things, I still can be a little neurotic, I still do things without thinking them through (flying by the seat of my pants isn't all that bad -- LOL) but at least, I don't feel like Mommie Dearest or that I am in the Exorcist with my head spinning around!
Since I started running 2 1/2 years ago, it has helped me tremendously. I have noticed that this past week. I have had to change my time of running to later (which I am trying my best to like it but I am such a stickler about it) and also had to "table" it for a few days cause of training for work. I have given myself a little break for the moment and have tried not to beat myself about it. The world won't end and I will be able to get back into the "grind" as soon as I can.
It is a stress release for me and it's also "Me" time. I need those moments. I love the feeling it gives me. It gives me this feeling of empowerment, the feeling of accomplishment and the best of all feeling...JOY! I have been jonesin for a long run lately and I just haven't had the time for it. I think about it every time I am out there pounding the pavement. Usually when I do a long run, it's not something I plan on doing. I just "wing" it. I listen to my body and my head and my heart...on a good day, they are all on the same page with each other! LOL!
I'm sure people think I'm obsessed with running! It really doesn't matter to me what they think but I feel like I have to explain myself and I really shouldn't have to! It's evident when I get a good run in or even just a "plain jane" run in. I feel better about things. I feel like it oozes out my pores and people can see it. If I am in a funky mood, it's because I didn't get the above mentioned feelings. It energizes me...like my own little battery charging station.
I'm hoping that after tomorrow's training for work that I can get back to my running schedule. It has to happen this week of all weeks. I will be a "hot mess" other wise. Weigh-in week is always hard on me mentally and I don't have it in me at the moment so I need this to happen. I know it sounds like I am hard on myself...I guess I am but I've had to be. You don't get to where I am right now without a little bit of pushing yourself mentally, emotionally and physically. It's really something that has become a habit now for me.
I'm also a big believer in feeling things...experiencing things...dealing with things. This weight loss journey has showed me that. I got myself to that point that I needed to deal with the fact that no one made me heavy except for me. I put the fork, spoon, knife, shovel to my mouth. There was no gun to my head. I have had to deal with this, learn from it and I am still learning from it. It will be a "forever" thing. I'm dealing with it now and it hasn't killed me yet...