I've come to this conclusion... I have been given a gift! I have a couple of friends/family in my life that have literally helped me fly. They come swooping in and lift me up when my wings are broken and tired. For that, I am eternally grateful. They put into perspective things that I need to hear. I can't always take that from a lot of people but there are just certain ones that can do that to me. I definitely feel they are angels to me. They may not think of themselves as angels but I do think that is what they were put on this earth to do. I'm also thankful for my hubby and my children for putting up with my insanity. They get to listen to the music when I run whether it's time to wake up or not. They witness "the sweaty mess" that is me when I'm done running/working out. They have to live with me 24-7 and have been witnesses to many of the changes first hand. They put up with my eating habits now. They are also my gift and for that I'm eternally grateful! <3<3<3
These posts are not meant to come across as negative. I'm just trying to make this girl "whole" again!! I have a lot of things that fly through my mind at any given moment and what better way than to put it down here where I feel most comfortable. I'm going to try my best not to "fall back" into negative thinking. It sucks the "life" out of me and that is not me! I'm a "full of life" kind of a girl!
I have a couple of things that I want to accomplish this year. I want to get past my fear of doing a race. It's hard to explain without looking stupid but here goes: I would get lost sometimes on the course during Cross Country meets. Yes, I'm ditz. LOL! I think in the back of my head that is why I haven't did a race yet. That and I need to go to Playmakers and get fitted for proper running shoes. My shoes that I have now have seen a lot of miles. They are sweaty and they have been bled in (blisters on my toes and toenail damage). They have a couple weak spots and some small tears. But they sure are comfy! LOL! I also need to buy some proper clothes to run in. So hurry up and be able to be "submitted and returned" tax refund money! :-)
My other goal is of course, the obvious goal. I would hope by the end of this year that I could get to goal. To lose the last 14.2 lbs. I have 10 more months before the end of the year and I'm hoping and praying that this will be it. I have been fighting this fight officially for almost 2 years. And I do know that it will also be a lifetime fight. At least, I know that I'm doing pretty good with the "maintaining" aspect of it but that isn't what I want to do just quite yet! LOL! But I will take it as a stepping stone to get to where I'm going! It's all part of the journey I'm on and I'm finding out that I AM WORTHY of this trip!
Just needed to put the words down here today! DAMN, it feels great! :-)
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