"The lesson is in the struggle, not in the victory."~~Anonymous

I wasn't planning on blogging so soon after the one I just did but I am needing the "therapy".  I had weigh-in this morning.  I was a little stressed about how it would turn out.  I have been only running once a week and I have  relaxed a little with my eating.  I even enjoyed some desserts on Thanksgiving.  Not something that I have allowed myself to do since I began this journey.

I don't want to over-think why I lost this month but I won't lie and say that I haven't tried to grasp my hands around it.  I have busted my butt in the past and watched everything that I ate.  It's disheartening to have a gain happen after that.  So, when I lose a couple lbs. after "relaxing" a little...then I get that same feeling.  Don't get me wrong, I am very pleased with the loss.  I am pleased with what I've been able to accomplish so far.  It's just hard to put my heart and soul into this and not wonder the "whys" once in awhile.

I need to get back into my running and/or weight training.  It's such a sanity saver for me.  It's sort of my happy pill.  It gives me that balance and clarity.  It also evens out my moods.  I really have seen a difference since I started all this.  I don't think most people who haven't did some form of exercise get it.  I know it's the endorphins (the feel good chemical).   But it's more than that for me.  It's the feeling of accomplishment.  The feeling of empowerment.   I haven't felt a feeling like this before.  When I ran Cross Country in High School many, many years ago there wasn't the "drive" there that I have now.  I really wish that I would've enjoyed it more!  Sorry Spals!  I would've been a better runner!  Hee-Hee!

I just need to relax a little...cut myself some slack!  There is "no contest", no prize for me (except being able to say I did it...for myself)!  I am such a unique person...I really am!  I know what makes me tick!  I have empathy for people's feelings, I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I feel things deeper than most people.  It may make me a little more open to being hurt by people but such is life.  I look at experiences in life as something we have to go through in order to be a better person.  I try not to have regrets!  With that being said...

“We should all start to live before we get too old. Fear is stupid. So are regrets.” 
― Marilyn Monroe